miss-behaved.net

This is it. When August comes around, I will be making the 27-hour drive to Los Angeles, California, to make my mark in the industry and finally embrace for what I’ve been working so hard. (Is it a coincidence that Electronic Gaming Monthly is coming back in the second half of 2009? Is it a sign? An omen?) I’ve withdrawn from the University of Memphis, gotten the support of my family and friends, and I’m ready. At least, I hope.

At first, when the idea was proposed, I was apprehensive. Then a friend of mine just asked me the simplest thing anybody has ever asked me: “Why not?” I don’t know why, but that question alone made me rethink my entire life plan. The plan I had been working so hard to complete and finish — and I had just figured it all out — was shattered.

The question then became, what do I have tying me down in Memphis? Now that I was going to be paying for school, if I were to leave, now would be the perfect time. I don’t have financial obligations tying me here to Memphis.

It’s the perfect time for me to move on.

I’m not going to lie: I’m terrified. I’m scared out of my mind. I’ll be 27 hours away from my security blanket — a city whose streets I’ve memorized, but can’t go anywhere in.  A day and three hours away from friends, my family, my childhood home, my hangouts — nothing to catch me if I fail. I knew California was my calling, but I wasn’t sure of when I was going. It’s calling me now.

Nothing can really prepare me for this, degree or not. They don’t have an undergraduate program for risk-taking, with a minor in leaving everything behind. At least, in any of the colleges I know of.

It’s the best planned-impulsive decision I’ve ever made.

I’ll be keeping updates on how it’s going, and I’ll be blogging on my roadtrip. (Mostly Twittering though.)

So, evidently, people are curious as to who my baby daddies are. I mentioned them in a podcast at GamerPulse, but I couldn’t think of all of them at the time. Here they are:

1. Christian Bale
2. Shia LaBeouf
3. Ryan Reynolds
4. Adam Levine (Maroon 5)
5. Robert Downey Jr.
6. Patrick Wilson
7. Bo Burnham
8. Bear Grylls

If I remember more, I’ll add them here. The funny thing is, all of the actors have starred in comic book movies. Coincidence? (Granted, Transformers isn’t considered a comic book movie, per se, but it’s pretty damn close. It’s about toys.)

Back when I was younger, reading Penny Arcade and dreaming my dreamy dreams of being a video game designer, I knew video game journalism was really looked down upon. Especially two years ago, when Gerstmanngate broke. It’s weird, because even after I decided I wanted to become a video game journalist instead of writing dialogue and storylines, I still wanted to make sure I wasn’t like them: the video game journalists that Gabe and Tycho hated.

That’s kinda stuck with me. I think about a lot of shit when I write. I think, “How is this going to be perceived? Am I being one-sided with this?” I make sure I’m not trying to fill an agenda. I’m trying to be different.

You know, I posted this on my Twitter, but I’ll repost it here. Three years ago, GameDaily came out with this editorial about why video game journalism sucks. Even though I’m still pretty new to the industry, I saw this article when it came out. I half-heartedly agreed then, and I still do.

It’s not just that game journalists don’t spell-check or write professionally; it’s hard to see game journalists that aren’t working for IGN or GameSpot take themselves seriously. I see an abundance of gamers being video game journalists, not writers being video game journalists.

Before it went out of print, EGM was coming out with those “Take This Job” features and I can’t tell you how excited I was to see game journalism featured. I even ripped the page out and it’s still hanging on my fridge. Geoffrey Keighley’s standing in front of a large, glossy building donning the words Electronic Arts, in a spy-like pose for the article, and every time I get a Sprite or yogurt, I see him. (That’s gonna be weird if I ever meet him. I can see it now: “Hey, you’re on my fridge!”) He’s there to remind me why I got here in the first place and what I need to do to make sure I’m not a run-of-the-mill game journalist. He’s there to remind me why I wanted into this business in the first place.

I’m not speaking on behalf of the video game industry, nor am I an old veteran. Like I said, I’m still new to this. But as someone who’s been reading gaming magazines since she was a little girl, following the game journalism industry in general, and who has been writing since forever, this subject is a dear one to me.

“You don’t need a degree in journalism to write a game review,” Geoffrey says in the feature, “but one of the weaknesses of a lot of game writers is that they are gamers first and writers second. The guys who are successful … actually know how to write.”

That sticks in my mind more than anything any teacher has ever taught me. Those words come into my mind on a daily basis.

Maybe that’s a good thing.

As a Democrat, I’ve been trying not to stress out over these ridiculous tea parties and stupid Americans. I think I get stressed out so easily about it is because I’m fighting for people’s rights — and not with stupid, uninformed opinions. Is it a coincidence that Fox News gave it the “best” coverage? God, where were you when people were protesting against Scientology? The Free Tibet protests?

I love how, during these protests, President Obama was delivering a message about tax cuts, about an easier taxing process, and another guy is calling him a fascist with no evidence.

Sometimes I wonder if President Obama looks at all these videos on YouTube and just wants to quit. The people he’s fighting for are protesting against him because they’re being handed bullshit in a handy basket and told it’s Easter eggs with money inside.

It just makes me want to move out of this country, honestly. I am so tired of being dubbed an American.

You know, that reminds me: my friend Charles and I were talking about politics back when the primaries were going on. I told him that to some people, I’m called “unpatriotic” or “acting un-American.” I’d like to think I’m one of the most patriotic types of people around. I uphold the Constitution. I don’t infringe on people’s rights. I’m a liberal, but I stand up for the Second Amendment. I breathe Constitutional law.

Me knowing the Constitution alone makes me more patriotic than most of those out there having “tea parties.”

Stand up for something. Please. But at least know what you’re standing up for. (And never stand up for a media outlet.)

Okay, here’s a rundown: I started my own Internet radio station, which has blown up. I’m now a staff writer for 411mania — and here’s my first column. I’ve been published in my college newspaper and I have another story coming out this week. I’ve decided to back away from that publication though, since I am going to try to be on staff next semester and I’m already writing weekly for 411mania. I should be writing for GirlGamer in the future, but things are still getting worked out with that.

I’ve been interviewed twice already, featured on two podcasts, and have met some incredible people in the industry thus far. I’m just amazed it’s happening to me.

Through all this stuff, though, this blog has kinda fallen behind everything else. I hope to get it running again, though, and contribute again.

Wish you all well!

1. “Wait, are you a boy or a girl?”
2. “Don’t you know you need at least 5 Pyros on your team in order to win?”
3. “Louis is so fucking stupid. Okay, that’s it. Let’s kill him.”
4. “Bonk!”
5. “I’m popping this uber and I don’t care who sees it!”
6. “Put some balls in your mouth. Please.”
7. “I’ve put in more time into games these past two weeks than I have my full-time job.”
8. “Dude, dude, listen to me. I’m an expert at video games. I work at Gamestop.”

Here’s my new tattoo! It came out amazingly! I was a little nervous about the shading, but Paul did absolutely wonderful.

1. Life insurance is appropriate for any kind of conversation: family get-together, dinner, even right before bed! It’s especially appropriate right after somebody dies. (”I got some life insurance to cover you and the kids when I’m gone from XYZ Insurance! No health questions, no high premiums! Pass the peas?”)
2. I guess since it’s so appropriate, people talk about it. A lot. Especially when you’re over 65. (”Are you sure I still qualify?”)
3. Talking about life insurance stems usually from talking about somebody who’s already dead. (”I miss his jokes. Well, you know, his wife and kids are doing okay!”)
4. If you talk about life insurance, someone else has a better company, a better rate, and will convince you to switch to theirs.
5. Getting life insurance is easier than fixing your own house.
6. Younger people never talk about life insurance. Ever.

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Game On Radio is finally up, and yesterday, I had my first show! I have the show schedule up and I’m working on explaining the station and getting more blogs posted.

Keep an eye out over there, it’s my new project.

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