making multitasking look good since 1998

My number-one goal out here in Los Angeles was to stay away from the film industry. “Don’t get sidetracked,” I said to myself. “Stick to journalism and you’ll do fine.” My roommate, Flitz, was against it. There was so much out here, he said, and it’s not a bad thing to deviate. I didn’t really believe him, figuring that if I got involved with something else besides journalism, I’d be sidetracked forever and never end up meeting my own goals.

Since late September, I have done what I thought I would never do. I frantically completed coffee runs. I filed. I re-filed. I ran credit cards that have more money than my parents’ yearly salary, and I’ve explained internet memes to Jude from Nip/Tuck. I heard more people refer to their IMDb than their Facebooks or websites. I found out what a RED camera was, and it’s not a color. I’ve hugged well-known actors and played with a little boy from Lost. I said “copy that” more than my own name. I learned what a “20″ is over walkie talkie. (It’s “location.”) I learned what can be cut from a film budget, and where the cheapest places are to rent equipment from. I let an Oscar-nominated actress borrow my lighter. I’m in the film industry, and I never wanted to be here in the first place. Now I’m having too much fun to care.

I interned as a production assistant for The Space Between, an independent feature film. It’s slated for release in 2010. I have never been so fully engrossed in the film-making process, and damn, it feels good. It’s not the fact that you’re out there making art; it’s the fact that you’re out there with a team to finish a project that came from someone’s mind. That’s what drives me wild. That’s what drives me.

Granted, yes, I was low on the totem pole. But the entire crew, including the director/writer/producer Travis Fine, treated me with respect and, by the end of it all, I feel like I have made more friends than I arrived with. I spent 12- to 16-hour days with these people for 22 days. I spent more time in the production office before that. It feels rewarding, but in a way, I will miss everyone associated with the film and hope towards many more with them.

But now with a car accident, broken (now fixed) laptop, and a midnight ride with a gay blow-up sex doll under my belt, here I am, looking forward to the next project. I’ve even considered starting my own.

Maybe journalism can wait a little while.

This is it. When August comes around, I will be making the 27-hour drive to Los Angeles, California, to make my mark in the industry and finally embrace for what I’ve been working so hard. (Is it a coincidence that Electronic Gaming Monthly is coming back in the second half of 2009? Is it a sign? An omen?) I’ve withdrawn from the University of Memphis, gotten the support of my family and friends, and I’m ready. At least, I hope.

At first, when the idea was proposed, I was apprehensive. Then a friend of mine just asked me the simplest thing anybody has ever asked me: “Why not?” I don’t know why, but that question alone made me rethink my entire life plan. The plan I had been working so hard to complete and finish — and I had just figured it all out — was shattered.

The question then became, what do I have tying me down in Memphis? Now that I was going to be paying for school, if I were to leave, now would be the perfect time. I don’t have financial obligations tying me here to Memphis.

It’s the perfect time for me to move on.

I’m not going to lie: I’m terrified. I’m scared out of my mind. I’ll be 27 hours away from my security blanket — a city whose streets I’ve memorized, but can’t go anywhere in.  A day and three hours away from friends, my family, my childhood home, my hangouts — nothing to catch me if I fail. I knew California was my calling, but I wasn’t sure of when I was going. It’s calling me now.

Nothing can really prepare me for this, degree or not. They don’t have an undergraduate program for risk-taking, with a minor in leaving everything behind. At least, in any of the colleges I know of.

It’s the best planned-impulsive decision I’ve ever made.

I’ll be keeping updates on how it’s going, and I’ll be blogging on my roadtrip. (Mostly Twittering though.)

Back when I was younger, reading Penny Arcade and dreaming my dreamy dreams of being a video game designer, I knew video game journalism was really looked down upon. Especially two years ago, when Gerstmanngate broke. It’s weird, because even after I decided I wanted to become a video game journalist instead of writing dialogue and storylines, I still wanted to make sure I wasn’t like them: the video game journalists that Gabe and Tycho hated.

That’s kinda stuck with me. I think about a lot of shit when I write. I think, “How is this going to be perceived? Am I being one-sided with this?” I make sure I’m not trying to fill an agenda. I’m trying to be different.

You know, I posted this on my Twitter, but I’ll repost it here. Three years ago, GameDaily came out with this editorial about why video game journalism sucks. Even though I’m still pretty new to the industry, I saw this article when it came out. I half-heartedly agreed then, and I still do.

It’s not just that game journalists don’t spell-check or write professionally; it’s hard to see game journalists that aren’t working for IGN or GameSpot take themselves seriously. I see an abundance of gamers being video game journalists, not writers being video game journalists.

Before it went out of print, EGM was coming out with those “Take This Job” features and I can’t tell you how excited I was to see game journalism featured. I even ripped the page out and it’s still hanging on my fridge. Geoffrey Keighley’s standing in front of a large, glossy building donning the words Electronic Arts, in a spy-like pose for the article, and every time I get a Sprite or yogurt, I see him. (That’s gonna be weird if I ever meet him. I can see it now: “Hey, you’re on my fridge!”) He’s there to remind me why I got here in the first place and what I need to do to make sure I’m not a run-of-the-mill game journalist. He’s there to remind me why I wanted into this business in the first place.

I’m not speaking on behalf of the video game industry, nor am I an old veteran. Like I said, I’m still new to this. But as someone who’s been reading gaming magazines since she was a little girl, following the game journalism industry in general, and who has been writing since forever, this subject is a dear one to me.

“You don’t need a degree in journalism to write a game review,” Geoffrey says in the feature, “but one of the weaknesses of a lot of game writers is that they are gamers first and writers second. The guys who are successful … actually know how to write.”

That sticks in my mind more than anything any teacher has ever taught me. Those words come into my mind on a daily basis.

Maybe that’s a good thing.

Okay, here’s a rundown: I started my own Internet radio station, which has blown up. I’m now a staff writer for 411mania — and here’s my first column. I’ve been published in my college newspaper and I have another story coming out this week. I’ve decided to back away from that publication though, since I am going to try to be on staff next semester and I’m already writing weekly for 411mania. I should be writing for GirlGamer in the future, but things are still getting worked out with that.

I’ve been interviewed twice already, featured on two podcasts, and have met some incredible people in the industry thus far. I’m just amazed it’s happening to me.

Through all this stuff, though, this blog has kinda fallen behind everything else. I hope to get it running again, though, and contribute again.

Wish you all well!

Here’s my new tattoo! It came out amazingly! I was a little nervous about the shading, but Paul did absolutely wonderful.