miss-behaved.net

Okay, so if you don’t know what a faghag is, Urban Dictionary defines it as:

1. A woman, usu. heterosexual, who likes to be in the company of homosexual men, and/or is attracted primarily to gay men at the expense of heterosexual ones.

I am a faghag. I love hanging out with gay men. We connect better, they help me pick out clothes, and I can watch reality TV and I won’t get made fun of. And they can totally help me pick out boyfriends. (Even though my better, gay half failed to do that the last two times.) And right now, I’m trying to round up a group of Gays to hang out with Charles and I since, like Kathy Griffin, I need a group of The Gays.

I’ve compiled a list of rules that the faghag should live by. These are the rules you claim to own, breathe, eat, sleep with - whatever your normal morals are - when you are declared a “faghag.” Let’s begin. (By the way, you always capital Gays as a group. It is known.)

Rule #1
By becoming a faghag, you are never to leave your Gays. The reason for this is because when you bond with your Gays and suddenly leave, you can never get that bond back! And by being a faghag, you must stay on good terms with all Gays, at all times. (Unless you’re arguing about a pair of shoes, which he will win. Always.)

Rule #2
Boyfriends do not overrule the Gays. This goes back to rule #1. Boyfriends come and go, Gays stay forever! Or until they get bored with you because all you do is complain about your boyfriend.

Rule #3
If you are arguing, he will win. Somehow, the Gays have mastered the way women argue and turned it into a fucking bloodbath. How they did it, I cannot figure out, but we need to learn. Fast.

Rule #4
Immediately when you criticise their sex life, they will retort with numerous occasions in which you have proved yourself to be a slut. You lose. See Rule #3.

Rule #5
The Gays always have a story, and you always must listen.

Rule #6
You know something epic is about to come along if you hear these words: “We’re gonna need a cigarette for this, girl.” Replace a cigarette with one of the following when applicable: a drink/a tissue/to sit down.

Rule #7
When you throw a party in your house, always let your Gays borrow your room for their sexcapades. They will return the favour.

Rule #8
Love your Gays, because they always love you!

Disclaimer: This is a repost from my previous blog. I mean no offense to homosexual males! This blog was mainly making fun of stereotypes and, although it does have some grain of truth, isn’t meant to be taken completely seriously. Love y’all!