miss-behaved.net

I just realized what my general fandom is. I love steampunk. Professor Layton and the Curious Village. The airships from Final Fantasy. It’s coming together, why I liked these things so much. Why wooden computers are so cool to me — and why, even though I don’t like anime, I loved Howl’s Moving Castle. This might be a bid odd to some, but this is an eye-opener for me. I had heard of steampunk, had a general idea of what it was, but never to this degree. This is what my collection should be; the long-awaited decision I have been meaning to figure out.

Now I just need to start my collection.

And I hate Mountain Dew, because Pepsi Co hates me. I have successfully drank every single one of the new flavors of the “Dewmocracy” — God damn, I hate saying that — and not one of them were good. You know what? I liked Game Fuel; I love Code Red; and LiveWire. (And being a gamer — by default — you have to drink Mountain Dew, which I’ve had no complaints about in the past.) Even Pitch Black, if any of you know what that is. I enjoy Mountain Dew products.

Not anymore, dear reader.

I have concluded that, not only did these “Dew Drinker” designers market ipecac to the general public, Pepsi and friends want you to feel like you’re involved. You know how you can get involved? By giving real money. To real corporations. Almost as crazy as that sounds, that’s exactly what you’re doing.

Hey, check it out! We get to pick the new flavor of Mountain Dew! In our Dewmocracy! If you look at the SuperNova with bloodshot eyes, it kinda looks red. And the Voltage is blue! So if you vote for SuperNova, you’re a Republicac. And if you vote for Voltage, you’re a Dewmocrat!

Enough of that — I’m pretty much going to describe the way that Revolution, Voltage, and SuperNova taste for you. The best way I can, without puking. (I should get paid for this.)

Revolution: I like wild berries, especially drinks flavored like wild berries. And thankfully, Revolution is the only one out of the three that isn’t “charged” or “blasted” with another completely different flavor. Wild berries. It must be good, right? Hell no. It’s less sour than Voltage and SuperNova, and it tastes like an alcoholic beverage, which is very depressing, since you’re not drinking an alcoholic beverage — and you should be, if you’re drinking this by choice.

Voltage: This is disgusting. On the outside of the bottle it claims to have a “raspberry citrus” flavor. All I taste are blue-raspberry balls with caramelized sugar, topped off with some good ol’ fashion  loss of dignity. It smells like it is going to burn my nose hairs off.

SuperNova: SuperNova tastes like a hot chick you’re making out with who had way too many pomegranate martinis and you’re totally scoring tonight — or so you thought. She just puked in your mouth, buddy. It says there’s “strawberry melon” in there, but I don’t taste strawberry, and I sure as hell don’t taste melon. If you ask me, strawberries and melons go well together in drinks just like bleach and Drain-o go well together in drinks. I know why they call this SuperNova — instead of a “stellar explosion,” you get an explosion of brain cells, wondering why you actually spent money to drink this crap.

You hear me, Mountain Dew? I fucking hate you.

I added a new class to the five I’m already taking: Intro to Sociology. My adviser recommended it since it was an easy class, but from reading the grades on Grade My Professor, it doesn’t look that easy. But I don’t want to just have a class I can just sit in and get a good grade. I want to actually work for it. I’ll be getting up bright and early Monday through Friday now, having three classes everyday, including my Elementary Italian I night class.

I am going to have to take a class at Southwest Community College since it isn’t offered at the University, an Intermediate Algebra course (which I’ve never claimed to be good at *frowny face*). Thank God I only need one math credit!

In other news, I have been working on four designs for Dinstuhl’s, a candy company here in Memphis, which has taken up a bit of my time, and then next weekend, on the 28th, I’m heading off to Dallas, TX to see my family! Oh, and go to Six Flags. Oh, and bungee jump. Oh, and Medieval Times. (I am bringing my laptop, however — so you won’t be entirely rid of me. Hey! Stop crying!)

Today is the beginning of my #16 101 Things in 1001 Days: Go vegetarian for a week. Charles and I are upping it and making it two weeks, though. Hannah is vegetarian, so I am a bit nervous, as I have seen her eat and what she has to do in order to eat sufficiently.

I guess that’s why it’s called a challenge, though, right?

There was this awesome Gay (Ben Lerman’s his name, definitely check out his songs!) who sang at the Java Cabana the other day — Hannah, Charles, Ethan, and I went to go hang out and just check out the entertainment. He was hilarious! The name of his tour is Ukelear Meltdown, since he plays the ukulele. Well, he told us about the theme and wanted to get pictures of us in his straightjacket. Being the faghag that I am, I cannot resist a request from a Gay.

Here I am, in all my crazed glory. Hannah, Charles, and Ethan got one in too.

Staying at home and being a hermit crab the rest of your life is hard. There’s so many websites out there that cater to your every want and need. But which ones are really useful? If you ever decide to stop browsing — or the Internet Apocalypse comes — here’s a list to help you out.

• Myspace

Before the flamewar begins, I must say that Myspace is a lot easier to meet people on than Facebook. And almost everyone has a Myspace. This would be your gateway to communication with your best friends — er, ex-best friends, since you’re never leaving the house again — so you won’t go incredibly insane. (Who uses e-mail anymore? Not you!) And Myspace is multi-functional! Since you’re going to be a homebody for the rest of your life, there’s a blog feature so you can post about your unfriendly endeavors with the insects outside or your Coke and Mentos experiment. There’s games on there as well to save you from insanity, but they’re kind of lame. Good for playing with other people though. See? People. You’ll miss them.

• Amazon

If you’re never going to leave the house, you’re going to need groceries, light bulbs, and toilet paper. That is where Amazon comes in. With its Automatic Delivery feature, Amazon makes being a lazy nerd the easiest thing ever.

• eBay

You’ll need a hobby to keep yourself from going insane. How about a doll collection like a crazed serial killer? That’s healthy. And you might need some cash since you won’t have a job anymore. Sell all your Commodore 64 memorabilia. You’ll need room for your crazy doll collection.

• eHow

You’re gonna need to know how to do certain things, like fix a sink or how to cook. You might even figure out a thing or two on your own, being holed up in the house all the time. You might even learn how to go back outside again, if you ever decide to.

• iGoogle

Last but not least, Google. Not only is it a search engine to help you browse (which you probably will end up doing, regardless whether or not you swear it off), you can set up widgets on your iGoogle to keep up with the news, play games, read your horoscope, or even pin up virtual post-it notes to help you remember when to do your laundry. In the sink. Since you don’t have a job and all.

So good luck on your endeavors and have fun being a virgin for the rest of your life!

Let’s be completely honest here. This seems really silly, but I think it’s awesomely cool to see a product that proves you’re doing something better than before. Listerine Smart Rinse is one of those products. I could just see the guy who came up with this:

IDEA PUSHER: ‘Ey boss, I gots a great ideas for a products. (For some reason, this Idea Pusher sounds like Toki from Metalocalypse.)

BOSS: Mrhrhrmrhm.

IDEA PUSHER: Okay, okay, okay, okay, check it — kids likes gross stuffs, right? And what’s the hardest things to gets your kids to dos?

BOSS: Mrhmm.

IDEA PUSHER: Rights! Brush their teeths. So what ifs we makes a mouthwash that shows thems whats they cleaned out?

BOSS: Brilliant!

So here it is, lo and behold, the Smart Rinse. The claim is to be gross and cool at the same time, by showing kids bacteria and food particles in their mouths by tinting them a different color. There are two flavors: Mint Shield and Berry Shield. I wouldn’t know anything about Berry Shield because, as most intelligent people know, b + c = g, one of the oldest equations known to man. (Not to mention, pink hygiene products make me want to vomit.) Since there are only two flavors, I am stuck with Mint Shield.

Right on the front of the bottle, in all its blue glory, are the letters POST-BRUSH, which evidently mean you’re supposed to brush your teeth first, but I don’t know — I’m just guessing. I suppose if you did swish this Hooked on Phonics version of Listerine before brushing, you would divide by zero.

Exaggerations aside, the directions call for you to swish — after brushing, mind you — for a minute. The taste of Mint Shield was mild at most and didn’t really taste minty. It left my mouth feeling clean, but “sticky,” if you know what I mean. Over the course of a few days, swishing at different intervals, I noticed that if you spit out the rinse before a minute’s time, there wouldn’t be any green-tinted flakes in the sink. If you went over a minute, same thing. You almost need to time yourself to see any speckles of nasty in your sink.

Charlie, however, tried it with me and seemed to have more flakes at different times than me. I suppose it’s a hit-and-miss, then. Or maybe it just depends on how well you brush. Either way, I was disappointed with how few I saw, especially since I am hella interested in that kind of thing.

Price: $4.99

Pros

• Shows kids that brushing/rinsing helps
• Doesn’t burn like regular Listerine
• Leaves mouth feeling clean, albeit “sticky”
• Good for kids, probably not so much for adults

Cons

• You will feel the urge to make up an excuse as to why you’re buying a kid’s version of Listerine, you wimp
• Hit-or-miss with the tinted particles
• It is not as cool as in the commercial

Rating: 3 out of 5

It’s already June, and God, the years are beginning to go by really fast. Summer always reminds me of parties, playing vidya games, and staying up all night for days at a time, either coding or just lounging around the house. I wasn’t able to do that last year because of my job (cough, sucked) and then-boyfriend (cough, sucked too). This year, unfortch, I will also not be able to do this. I have dedicated my summer to my better, gay half, since he will be a senior in high school next year and I will be a freshman in college, unable to hang out with him because of conflicting schedules.

I try to remember what else summer has brought to me, and I remember that my parents used to barbecue a lot. I also remember swimming at Mum’s friend’s house, playing with her daughter; the trips to Texas, Arkansas, and Florida, to visit family members and Mickey Mouse in Disney World (learning that the best thing in the world is a water ride on a 110 degree day); makeshift relief from sprinklers in your front yard; hating how the grass felt sticky when I sat on it; and riding my bike on a mini-city made from chalk…

What does summer remind you of?

Okay, so if you don’t know what a faghag is, Urban Dictionary defines it as:

1. A woman, usu. heterosexual, who likes to be in the company of homosexual men, and/or is attracted primarily to gay men at the expense of heterosexual ones.

I am a faghag. I love hanging out with gay men. We connect better, they help me pick out clothes, and I can watch reality TV and I won’t get made fun of. And they can totally help me pick out boyfriends. (Even though my better, gay half failed to do that the last two times.) And right now, I’m trying to round up a group of Gays to hang out with Charles and I since, like Kathy Griffin, I need a group of The Gays.

I’ve compiled a list of rules that the faghag should live by. These are the rules you claim to own, breathe, eat, sleep with - whatever your normal morals are - when you are declared a “faghag.” Let’s begin. (By the way, you always capital Gays as a group. It is known.)

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Wow! I’m sorry for being gone so long, the month of May has been terribly busy. I went to prom on May 8th, which was pretty freaking sweet. I got to come down the staircase and they announced my name since I was a senior.

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